Bismillah بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
I am in love. My husband takes care of me so well, Alhamdulillah. Of course, there are times when we disagree and have to agree to disagree, but I would say that 90% of all the problems we’ve ever had are nothing compared to the good times we’ve shared.
Recently, I showed him an Instagram video of a woman sharing how in just two weeks, she married her husband because she instantly knew he was the one. After seven years of marriage, she shared that her husband never missed giving her love notes every single day, leaving them on her desk. She was emotional in the short video.
And then there was another video I sent him—a woman sharing how she just started dating a guy, and one day, he wanted to stop by her place to take measurements of her garage for some work he was doing. But when she got back home, she found that all her laundry was washed and dried, her dishwasher was unloaded, her trash was taken out, and her kitchen counter was cleaned. It was as if he had brought a cleaning crew with him when he stopped by!
Why Should Muslim Men Do Better?
I wonder how we, as Muslims, could have the audacity to show anything less. I mean, we have the Quran, guidance from Allah Himself. We have the best example in Prophet Muhammad ﷺ. He took care of not just one but nine wives, met all their needs, and treated them like queens.
Prophet Muhammad ﷺ was the most loving and considerate husband. Aisha (RA) said,
“The Prophet used to mend his own shoes, sew his own clothes, and do whatever ordinary men did in their houses. He was a human being like any other, cleaning his clothes, milking the sheep, and serving himself.”
(Musnad Ahmad, Hadith 24903)
How many men today can say they follow this Sunnah?
The Dunya Will Distract You From Gratitude
I recently learned about Surah At-Takathur, where Allah talks about this world being a competition—a race for wealth, status, and fame. Allah says that this world will distract you whether you like it or not, but it’s up to us to be mindful and not let this dunya consume our hearts.
“Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you. Until you visit the graveyards.”
(Quran 102:1-2)
We want the best partners, the best husband, the best house, the best car—there’s nothing wrong with that. But are we being grateful for what we already have in front of us?
We scroll through social media, dreaming of the relationships we see, but what about the blessings Allah has already given us?
Take Inspiration, But Don’t Compare
I look at these women on social media and thank Allah that these men actually exist—men who love, serve, and cherish their wives. But I’m also reminded not to compare blindly or negatively, so much so that I forget to appreciate the amazing husband that Allah has already gifted me.
Comparison is a trap, and gratitude is the key to freeing ourselves.
“And [remember] when your Lord proclaimed, ‘If you are grateful, I will certainly give you more. But if you are ungrateful, My punishment is severe.’”
(Quran 14:7)
I pray Allah blesses my sisters, Maryam, and my future daughters with righteous spouses, Ameen.
How to Be More Grateful in Marriage
Allah repeated the message three times in Surah At-Takathur—reminding us not to be distracted by this worldly competition. We look at others and want more and more, but we forget that Allah has already given us so much.
So, how do we cultivate gratitude?
1. Notice the Small Blessings, Not Just the Big Ones
A few days ago, my grandparents got into a car accident. Alhamdulillah, it wasn’t severe—they didn’t hit anyone, just a divider. My grandmother was wearing her seatbelt, so she only hit the dashboard slightly, but the impact left her quite sore. She couldn’t get out of bed the next day.
When we visited her, she confided in me—
“I just realized every single movement is a ni’mah from Allah. To be able to turn my head left and right, to lift my hands, to walk to the kitchen—subhanAllah. Had Allah not wanted me to have these ni’mah, He could have taken them away from me years ago.”
I was speechless. How many times do we wake up, move, stretch, eat, and breathe without realizing that every single action is a gift from Allah?
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said,
“Look at those who are below you and do not look at those above you, for that is more likely to keep you from belittling Allah’s favor upon you.”
(Sahih Muslim, Hadith 2963)
Let’s stop looking at what we don’t have and start seeing the little blessings we take for granted every day.
2. Make Dua for What You Want, But Trust Allah’s Timing
It’s okay to desire more—a better spouse, a bigger house, a happier marriage. But before asking for more, we should first take care of what we already have.
If you want a loving husband, are you being a loving wife? If you want more barakah in your home, are you thanking Allah for the roof over your head?
“Indeed, Allah does not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.”
(Quran 13:11)
Dua and gratitude go hand in hand. When we show appreciation for Allah’s blessings, He increases them. It’s a divine promise.
Conclusion: Love, Serve, and Be Grateful
Allah reminds us in Surah At-Takathur—
“Competition in [worldly] increase diverts you. Until you visit the graveyards.”
(Quran 102:1-2)
This dunya is temporary. The best way to increase our blessings is to appreciate what we already have.
So today, I choose gratitude. I choose to notice the little things. I choose to make dua, work for what I want, and trust Allah’s timing.
Because in the end, love isn’t just about what we receive. It’s about what we give.
May Allah bless us all with love, gratitude, and righteous spouses—Ameen.
Till next time. Love and Salam, Aimi.
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