THE KHALIFAH DIARIES Be The Best Muslimah For Allah SWT

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Are you wondering what a healthy husband-wife relationship in Islam looks like?

The best way we can learn about a husband wife relationship in Islam is none other than from the teachings of the Quran and Sunnah of Prophet Muhammad SAW.

What Is Love In A Husband Wife Relationship In Islam?

“Your spouses are a garment for you as you are for them.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187)

Allah describes the husband and wife relationship in Islam as if they are garments to one another. Now what does a garment do for you? It protects you, comforts you and can even beautify you.

So, love in an Islamic marriage essentially means that you are providing these beautiful characteristics to one another.

What Are The Responsibilities And Role Of A Husband And Wife In Islam?

When we talk about our husbands being a ‘garment’ for us, we can look at it in different ways.

• Protect – Protect us from harm, other men and guarding our secrets.
• Comfort – Comfort us during the highs and lows of our emotions, provide a comfortable home and financial security for us to thrive.
• Beautify – Compliment us on our beauty and complement our weaknesses with his strengths so that we can realize our potential etc.

As for us, the wives. We need to equally show up as the most comforting and beautiful ‘garment’ for our husbands.

• Protect – Protect your husband’s possessions and safeguard your dignity while he is away.
• Comfort – Comfort him in the bed and support him during stressful times just like Khadijah RA did with Rasulullah SAW.
• Beautify – Beautify yourself for him and beautify your home so that he has a safe haven to return to after a long day at work.

Islam is such a beautiful religion, right? SubhanAllah. A husband wife relationship in Islam is given detailed guidelines for us to follow and create a healthy and happy marriage for ourselves insyaAllah.

Today, I am going to share with you How To Have An Amazing Husband Wife Relationship in Islam with 12 amazing tips from the Quran and Sunnah.

Tip #1 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Make Each Other Feel Comfortable

“And one of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find comfort in them. And He has placed between you compassion and mercy. Surely in this are signs for people who reflect.” (Surah Ar-Rum, 30:21)

Some translations in the Quran say ‘find peace’ and some say ‘find comfort’, but it’s mainly the same thing. Imagine your husband being the one person you can always turn to for love, peace and comfort.

It’s like he’s your best guy friend that you truly trust and know that no matter what happens, insyaAllah he will always be there for you – to comfort you, support you and love you through all your ups and downs in life. It’s the little things that matter.

A husband wife relationship in Islam is such that it allows you to find peace and solace with your partner.

Happy husbands and wives do this all the time. For example, when you come to him with a problem, maybe you would be crying and just letting your heart out, he would hug you and just be a caring listener to make you feel better. This is your husband providing emotional support for you.

Likewise, when you see that your husband is stressed out from work, try not to burden him with the family problems at that moment, instead you should prepare his meal knowing he would be hungry and maybe give him a back massage later or just let him enjoy his TV session for awhile. 

We all have good times and bad times. When the times are easy, it is easy to have fun and play along in the relationship but when the bad times come along, this is when we would need the support of our beloved spouse the most, be it emotional support, financial support or any kind of support our spouses need.

It’s what you do every day that counts. These small considerate gestures matter so so much in a marriage because it shows how much you love each other.

Tip #2 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Hide Your Partner’s Faults

“The worst of men in position before Allah on the Day of Resurrection is the man who has intercourse with his wife, and she with him, and then spreads her secrets.” (Sahih Muslim)

This hadith talks about the men but it definitely applies to us ladies too.

Covering your partner’s flaws and faults means you respect them and genuinely want to see the best of them.

A husband wife relationship in Islam emphasize how you protect your partner’s dignity.

If you expose your partner’s faults in public – maybe you commented on their looks or how they lack in certain areas – it just reflects how incapable you are in choosing the right spouse since you’re the one who married them in the first place.

So, be that ‘protective garment’ towards one another and hide each other’s faults.

Whatever issues you have between the two of you, don’t let it get out of the bedroom and especially not on social media.

No one needs to know but Allah. A husband wife relationship in Islam is sacred and should be held with utmost dignity since it is a completion of half our deen.

If you can’t solve the issue between the two of you, find a family member who is wise and you can trust to give you two the best solution according to the Quran and Sunnah.

Other than that, no one needs to know.

Tip #3 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Love Each Other For The Sake Of Allah

“For those who love one another for the sake of My Glory, there will be seats of light (on the Day of Resurrection), and they will be envied by the Prophets and martyrs”. (Tirmidhi)

A husband wife relationship in Islam requires you to love each other for the sake of Allah. It means that you genuinely want your partner to enter Jannah with you.

Therefore, every action you take is to bring them closer to Allah swt will elevate your love relationship.

For example, when you wake up for Tahajjud, you wake them up too. When you see them doing something wrong or things that can pull them further from Allah, you speak to them and bring them back to the straight path.

Since marriage is all about teamwork, it makes sense that we constantly remind and help each other to succeed in dunya and akhirah. This is the true meaning of a successful marriage – when you can help each other attain Allah’s love.

That is why you need to choose a partner who shares with you this common goal – to get to Jannah together. It is the ultimate purpose of a husband wife relationship in Islam. 

Read next: If You Want The Love Of Allah: Sacrifice Your Love For These 5 Things

Tip #4 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Bring Out The Best In Each Other 

Every one of us is gifted with our own sets of strengths, skills and talents.

In order to have a truly healthy husband and wife relationship in Islam, you need to always support each other’s dreams and encourage one another to use those gifts and talents to build the ummah.

Whether it be starting a new business or career, be there for your partner and support them in any way you can – mentally, emotionally and financially etc.

That is how you have a successful husband wife relationship in Islam.

As wives, we don’t have to support our husband financially, but if you have the means, you can be like Khadijah RA who supported Prophet Muhammad SAW da’wah with everything she had – her wealth, status and energy.

Prophet Muhammad SAW said,

“Whoever guides someone to goodness will have a similar reward” (Muslim)

Tip #5 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Don’t Keep Score

Another important thing you need to avoid when it comes to strengthening husband wife relationship in Islam is don’t keep score.

It’s very easy to keep score in a relationship. When you’ve done the laundry, cook and clean the whole day, you expect your husband to do his part with the house chores and everything else.

Although it is healthy to divide tasks and household chores between a husband and wife, things are never 50-50. You need to find a common ground instead. There are times you need to do more for him and vice versa.

It is important to be understanding and considerate of your spouse at all times. This will increase your mutual love.

Perhaps your husband works long hours outside the home and therefore has limited time to contribute at home, but he takes care of the bills and other household expenses.

So it’s natural that you would be handling most of the household day-to-day maintenance.

But no matter what, a good husband is one who follows the footsteps of Rasulullah SAW, he helps around the house all the time.

Aisha RA was asked,

“What did the Prophet (ﷺ) use to do in his house?” She replied, “He used to keep himself busy serving his family and when it was the time for prayer he would go for it.” (Sahih Bukhari)

Tip #6 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Talk About Your Issues

No marriage is free of misunderstandings and problems. If you want a healthy husband wife relationship in Islam, you need to talk about your issues and find the best solutions every time they rise up.

Never leave anything ‘under the rug’ because it can easily pile up. Happy couples have developed the right skills of communication to effectively solve problems without getting tangled up by emotions.

Allah says in the Quran,

“Speak to people good words…” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:83)

Tip #7 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Forgive Often

Little annoyances and mistakes happen all the time. There’s almost no way of escaping them. Sometimes you might step on each other’s toes or say the wrong things, it can easily turn into hurt, especially with the person we love most.

Happy couples know when to pick their battles. They don’t fret on the little stuff. If it bothers them, they talk about it and move on.

They always believe their partner has their best interest at heart, so they pardon and let it go.

Allah says in the Quran,

“Show forgiveness, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the foolish (i.e. don’t punish them).” (Surah Al-A’raf, 7:199)

Tip #8 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Put Your Egos Aside

Everyone has an ego that pushes us to be right and stand our ground in an argument, especially men. Happy couples don’t let their egos conquer any part of their marriage.

It is the devil in disguise in all of us. The more we feed it, the bigger it gets. Happy married couples don’t mind backing down and getting told we are wrong. This shows mutual respect.

They accept their mistakes, change for the better and move on. In some ways, it reflects your maturity. The more you are able to back down to keep the peace, the higher your maturity.

This is where patience comes in. In any argument, our egos will be bruised, that’s for sure. But if you are able to put your ego aside and try to understand where your partner is coming from, you would be able to see that they’re actually wanting what’s best for us.

If someone corrects you, and you feel offended, then you have an ego problem.Nouman Ali Khan

I personally believe that the happiest couples are the ones that can be most vulnerable with each other.

When you can allow your partner to show up as they are without judgment and without taking it personally, soon you will both be talking to each other’s authentic selves more and more.

It’s the perfect recipe for a happy marriage insyaAllah. Be your spouse’s closest confidante and practice active listening to have an effective communication. 

An honest communication is one of the essence of a healthy relationship because it builds trust. As time goes by, you will see your partner as a best friend and a real partner who always wants your best interest at heart.

Tip #9 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Have Fun Together

Happy couples genuinely enjoy each other’s company. No matter how busy they are, they never let life get in the way of their quality time together.

They are always eager to find more ways to do fun things together, whether it be having a date night, snuggling in for a movie or just having a deep conversation.

Do you think Rasulullah SAW was busy back then? You bet. But Aisha RA narrated that during their journeys, he had races with her.

Aisha RA said,

“The Prophet raced with me and I beat him.” (Sahih Ibn Majah)

Happy couples always find ways to have fun… even in quarantine. It’s the company that counts. 

Tip #10 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Make Plans Together

I always say marriage is like a business. I know, it totally takes out the romantic part of marriage, but it’s the truth.

Just like a business, a marriage cannot survive if the couple does not have plans for the future. Things will inevitably fall apart, believe me.

Happy couples make plans together in every aspect – family, finances, schedules etc. 

But Allah says in the Quran,

“Men are in charge of women by [right of] what Allah has given one over the other and what they spend [for maintenance] from their wealth.” (Surah An-Nisa, 4:34)

No matter how much a woman makes these days, her husband is still the head of the household financially.

Making plans for the future is simply a means to organize the household, it has nothing to do with the wife’s money.

All the household expenses are the husband’s responsibility, but if the wife wants to help with her earnings, then that is her choice and she will be rewarded by Allah for it. 

Traditional gender-role attitudes is an important factor to consider. Even though we live in a modern society today, Allah said the teachings of Quran Sunnah stands the test of time and it is relevant to every single modern situation we have today. Those who follow the Quran and sunnah closely will be the ones who succeed.

Our mother of believers (wives of the prophet SAW) used to take care of their homes but at the same time, they also play a crucial role in in advancing society. For example, Khadijah RA was a successful business woman and Aisha RA was a successful hadith scholar in Islam. 

So if we were to follow their footsteps, maintaining a positive attitude in work-life balance is key to a long-lasting relationship.

Tip #11 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Make Dua For Each Other

In married life, it is important to make the best duas for your spouse. A dua is the best gift you can give to anyone because Prophet Muhammad SAW said,

“Nothing is more honorable in God’s sight than supplication.” (Hassan Tirmidhi)

Imagine if every dua you ever made for your husband comes true? Amazing things can happen right? InsyaAllah.

Happy Muslim couples always make special duas for their partners.

Let’s see how much barakah Allah will put in your marriage once you practice making dua for your spouse. 

Tip #12 To Strengthen Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

Make Sacrifices For Each Other

Most of the time, marriage is not just about the romantic relationship that we all crave. It is also about fulfilling your roles and responsibilities as a husband and wife as best you can. Of course, the romance part of the marriage is crucial, without it the marriage will not sustain, but it is equally important to focus on the rights of our spouses.

Let me explain. When 2 people come together to build a life based on their goals and dreams, they don’t always get what they individually want. 

Sometimes big sacrifices simply have to be made. A healthy husband wife relationship in Islam requires both husband and wife to be willing to sacrifice for each other when making life decisions. 

For example, if your husband’s mother falls ill and there’s no one to take care of her, you and your husband might have to take her in, support her financially and sacrifice some of your other plans. Family life always comes first.

Whatever the case may be, just remember that Allah loves those who do good, so in the end, everything is worth it insyaAllah.

As long as you continue to seek the reward from Allah. 

Final Word On Having An Amazing Husband Wife Relationship In Islam

A strong and healthy husband wife relationship in Islam doesn’t have to have extraordinary chemistry or romance to make the marriage work. It all boils down to the habits you have on a daily basis to make your marriage truly strong and healthy.

There is no such thing as a perfect marriage where couples are blissful 24/7 and never encounter a single argument or conflict. That simply does not exis in this world. Even Prophet Muhammad SAW’s marriages are not perfect in that sense. For example, he SAW had a big fallout with Hafsa RA to the point that he SAW almost divorced her. He also had plenty of misunderstandings with his beloved wife Aisha RA. 

So if your marriage seems rather imperfect at the moment, it is completely natural. Don’t be discouraged, just do your best.

May Allah make all our marriages strong and healthy insyaAllah.

Love & Salam,

Aimi

Any good from this article is from Allah and any evil is from the shaytaan and me. May Allah forgive our shortcomings in practicing His deen.

Wa billahi tawfeeq wa hidayah

(All successes come from Allah and His guidance).