Bismillah بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ
Motherhood is a beautiful journey, but it comes with its challenges. This morning, my toddler woke up earlier than usual. Normally, I treasure the quiet moments before Fajr to pray Qiyam, reflect, and write before heading off to school. Today, however, my precious me-time was cut short. While it’s easy to feel disappointed, I remind myself that having Maryam in my life is the greatest blessing Allah has ever given me.
Motherhood has taught me so much about love, sacrifice, and growth. In this article, I’ll share tips on how to balance self-care with the demands of your family, all while staying grounded in Islamic principles.
1. Choosing the Right Spouse: The Foundation of a Balanced Life
The first step to achieving balance in motherhood begins even before you have children: choosing the right spouse. A husband who fulfills his role as a provider and protector creates a harmonious and supportive family environment.
Allah reminds us of the husband’s responsibilities in the Quran:
“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.” (Surah An-Nisa, 4:34)
Your husband’s financial, emotional, and physical support makes you feel safe and secure. This foundation allows your marriage to grow, which ultimately benefits the entire family.
2. Humbling Yourself and Asking for Help
For someone who has always been independent, asking for help can be challenging. Motherhood, however, is a humbling journey that teaches us the importance of relying on others.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“The strong person is not the one who overcomes others by his strength, but the one who controls himself while in anger.” (Sahih Bukhari, 6114)
Sometimes, strength lies in acknowledging that you cannot do everything alone. Ask your husband to take over nighttime duties or plan a daddy-daughter date so you can have some uninterrupted time for yourself. Don’t hesitate to involve family members in caregiving. This not only eases your load but also strengthens familial bonds.
3. Prioritize Me-Time for Personal Growth and Reflection
Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s essential. As mothers, we often put our family’s needs before our own, but taking time to recharge is crucial for maintaining your well-being.
One of the ways I carve out time for myself is by waking up an hour before everyone else in the house. During this time, I focus on Qiyam, writing, and reflecting. This uninterrupted me-time rejuvenates my soul and helps me stay grounded.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“Take advantage of five before five: your youth before your old age, your health before your sickness, your wealth before your poverty, your free time before your busyness, and your life before your death.” (Mustadrak Al-Hakim, 7846)
However, as any mother knows, plans don’t always go as expected. When Maryam wakes up early, I adapt by multitasking. Sometimes, she’ll be on my lap while I write. Flexibility is key to balancing motherhood and personal goals.
4. Embracing Multitasking Without Overwhelming Yourself
Motherhood naturally turns you into a multitasker. Whether it’s eating while feeding your child or squeezing in household chores during nap time, finding creative ways to manage tasks is a necessary skill.
However, it’s important not to overwhelm yourself. Start small and focus on one or two tasks at a time. Remember, even the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized moderation:
“The deeds most loved by Allah are those done regularly, even if they are small.” (Sahih Bukhari, 6464)
By pacing yourself, you can accomplish more without burning out.
5. Finding Joy in the Little Moments
Motherhood is filled with small, precious moments that remind us of Allah’s mercy. When you’re overwhelmed, reflect on the honor Allah has given you to raise the next generation of the Ummah.
The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“When a woman gives birth, Allah writes for her the reward equivalent to that of fasting and praying for His sake. When she nurses her child, every suck earns her the reward of freeing a slave.” (Tabarani, 7:116)
This perspective shifts the focus from stress to gratitude, helping you find balance and joy even in challenging times.
6. Overcoming Mom Guilt: Taking Time for Yourself
It’s common to feel guilty for wanting time away from your family. However, self-care is a necessity, not a luxury. Just as people working 9-5 jobs need weekends to recharge, mothers also need time off to rejuvenate.
By taking care of yourself, you ensure that you can give your best to your family. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said:
“Your body has a right over you.” (Sahih Bukhari, 5199)
Whether it’s a quiet cup of tea, a walk outside, or a hobby you enjoy, prioritize activities that bring you peace and happiness.
Conclusion: Balancing Motherhood and Self-Care is Possible
Motherhood is a profound blessing, but it’s also a journey that requires balance and intentionality. Start by building a strong foundation with the right spouse who supports you in every way. Learn to ask for help and share responsibilities. Create me-time to nurture your spiritual and emotional well-being, and embrace the art of multitasking without overwhelming yourself.
Remember, taking care of yourself is not selfish; it’s an act of love for your family. A happy, balanced mother creates a happy, balanced home. May Allah ease your journey and grant you barakah in your role as a mother. Ameen.
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