As modern Muslim women living in this era, we would need some amazing set of skills in order to pull off our home life and work-life balance. And one of the best ways to achieve that is by first building a positive identity of ourselves.
How do we become more positive women and not just survive but also be able to strive through all of life’s defining and challenging moments?
Prophet Muhammad SAW said,
Strange are the ways of a believer for there is good in every affair of his and this is not the case with anyone else except in the case of a believer for if he has an occasion to feel delight, he thanks (God), thus there is a good for him in it, and if he gets into trouble and shows resignation (and endures it patiently), there is a good for him in it. (Muslim)
Here are 5 habits you need to practice in order to have more positivity in your life and make positivity your identity.
1. Surround yourself with positive people
It is completely hard to stay positive in a negative environment. If there are people in your life that are always complaining or talking bad about others, you should stay away from them, even if they are your family members or closest friends. They will suck the life out of you!
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “The example of a good companion (who sits with you) in comparison with a bad one, is like that of the musk seller and the blacksmith’s bellows (or furnace); from the first you would either buy musk or enjoy its good smell while the bellows would either burn your clothes or your house, or you get a bad nasty smell thereof.” (Bukhari)
Look for positive people that can lift up your spirits and give you words of wisdom during hard times. These friends and family will help you get out of your rut and remind you of Allah SWT.
They will remind you that this too shall pass, everything in life is temporary and that one day we will be resurrected in front of Allah SWT to report to Him on how we handled these hard moments.
Did we turn back to Him or turn away from Him? 🙂
May Allah SWT give us guidance to turn back to Him and rely on Him no matter what. Ameen.
2. Believe only good things about Allah
Allah’s Messenger (ﷺ) said, “Allah said, ‘I am to my slave as he thinks of Me, (i.e. I am able to do for him what he thinks I can do for him). (Bukhari)
Allah is telling us that whatever perceptions we have of Him, whether He’s kind or mean to us, that is exactly how He will be to us. My grandmother taught me this. This year in 2021, she’s 83. Every time I visit her, she would always tell me the same thing, how extremely kind Allah is to her.
And you know what? She is one of the happiest people I’ve ever met! She never had a higher education, has a husband that loves her, has children and grandchildren that adores her to death. She is truly amazing and very inspirational Ma sha Allah.
I can feel my eyes tearing up just thinking that one day she’ll leave us all. She is such a wonderful woman Subhan Allah. May Allah SWT give her the highest Jannah. Ameen.
So you see, when you think good of Allah SWT, that he’s kind to you, loves you immensely and wants what’s best for you, Allah will give you the love and support that you need to get out of ALL your problems. In sha Allah.
And you will in turn find peace and solace when you get closer and closer to Him every time.
3. Be your own best friend and give yourself grace
Sometimes, the biggest reason why it’s hard for us to be positive is because we keep saying negative things to ourselves internally. How do you talk to yourself daily on a regular basis? Are you your own best friend or your worst enemy?
Imagine having your worst enemy right in front of you. Your heart starts pounding faster, you start to feel anxious, maybe you even have difficulty breathing because you can’t stand that person.
Now imagine that person is inside you. Telling you how horrible of a person you are and telling you mean things that no one could tolerate if they heard it.
There’s NO WAY you could be a positive person with that kind of mean person inside you!
So, let’s flip it. 😀
Imagine your best friend is inside you. But, she looks exactly like you, and she’s the kindest and most loving person you’ll ever meet. And no matter what the entire world thinks of you, she is always there to support you, say the kindest things to you and love you no matter what.
Isn’t that more comforting? 🙂
So, starting from now, I want you to be your own best friend and there’s NOTHING that can get between the two of you.
Next, when you’ve become your own best friend, forgive yourself in the past, present and future because we are sinful beings and we can’t run from sins. You need to be the first person to forgive yourself whenever you make mistakes because only then can you feel worthy of seeking Allah SWT’s forgiveness and do the right thing.
That’s how you love yourself. It sets you free from your past and let’s you face the future with a brand new outlook. 🙂 In sha Allah.
Keep in mind, when someone has a negative outlook on life, it is because they are projecting the negativity of their inner world. Similarly, if you see someone who is always positive in every situation, it is because their inner world is already positive. 🙂
So, be a positive person, okay!
4. Trust Allah and never lose faith in Him
Thinking good of Allah is the first step. Trusting that Allah SWT is the ONLY MOST POWERFUL ONE who can make amazing things happen for you is the second step. When times get tough, and you’ve tried everything you possibly could to make things right but it just doesn’t work out, the only person you can only really turn to is Allah SWT.
That’s what Allah SWT wants from us. To turn back to Him. Sometimes, when everything is going right and there’s nothing to worry about, we tend to forget our Creator. We are not as close to Him as we could be when we are in trouble.
So, what does Allah SWT do to us?
He gives us these life challenges that seem incredibly hard just so we could fall on our knees and remember Him again. That’s all Allah wants from us. When we pass this test, He will upgrade our eman and give us greater challenges to better test us if we could then overcome the next challenge.
And that’s what life is all about. A series of challenges for us to get closer to Allah until ultimately we die and meet Him right in front of us in Jannah. In sha Allah. 🙂
Trusting in Allah SWT and never losing faith in Him also means that we do the right thing even if it goes against what we are used to doing and against everyone around us.
Let’s say we don’t pass His ‘Trust’ test. What then?
He’ll keep giving us the same level of challenges until we realize our mistakes and humble ourselves by repenting to Him. Have you ever met people who never seem to stop having the same problems one after another?
For example, someone might get into business but they keep getting cheated by partners after partners. Maybe they never asked Allah SWT to guide their decisions when choosing a business partner. Maybe they keep taking bribery. Maybe the whole business plan is not pleasing to Allah.
Whatever it is, as long as the person does not correct their error. They will stay in that level of challenge until they do.
So, when you trust Allah SWT, you do the right thing according to the Quran and Sunnah. You don’t do things according to your whims and fancies because you truly believe that Allah SWT has the best plan and guideline for you to live your life to the fullest.
5. Think good of others
This is similar to giving others the benefit of the doubt.
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, “Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of false tales; and do not look for the others’ faults and do not spy, and do not be jealous of one another, and do not desert (cut your relation with) one another, and do not hate one another; and O Allah’s worshipers! Be brothers (as Allah has ordered you!”) (Bukhari)
You need to be a full glass in order to pour some to others.
You need to be happy with yourself. When you love yourself, it becomes easy and natural for you to love others as well. You will start building a group of friends who will love you and also want what is best for you. We are social creatures, we need each other. Depriving ourselves of a good social circle can cause damage to our psychological and emotional development.
We need to bond, interact and connect with people to build our own identity.
Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, “The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are just like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with wakefulness and fever”. (Bukhari & Muslim)
Let’s build a strong ummah by loving one another. 🙂
Conclusion…
Make positivity your personal brand. Your identity. More positive people will be attracted to you and your life will be much better in sha Allah. 🙂 When it becomes part of your identity, no matter what challenges Allah puts in your way, you’ll be able to handle it positively too.
May Allah SWT make us a strong positive ummah. Ameen!
Leave a Comment