THE KHALIFAH DIARIES Be The Best Muslimah For Allah SWT

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Everyone is talking about self-love these days. What is it about loving yourself that is so important today more than ever?

Allah says in the Quran,

We created man in the best design (Quran, 95:4)

Allah said He made us perfect just the way we are. Our intellect, physical abilities, our appearance, everything that we are is perfectly curated by the Al-Mighty Himself. If you don’t love yourself, does that mean you’re not loving the way Allah has created you? 🙂

Let’s start accepting and loving ourselves more insyaAllah. Where should you start? You need to know yourself in order to meet all your unique and distinct needs. The key to loving yourself is to discover the real you and nurture yourself as you grow.

I use to struggle loving myself, being the first child of 5 siblings, sometimes people put higher expectations on me. They expect me to be a good example to all my other siblings, pave the road to success and be the leader. I was pushed by my mum to be a salesgirl for a multi-level marketing company at the early of 18, which was as soon as I’m age-qualified.

Being in the business world at that early age forced me to grow up and face the world. Everything was about the numbers, how many sales I made today, this month, this year, and the next. Of course, I learned a lot of valuable business and social skills throughout my journey and I’m very grateful but I also realized that I never had the chance to explore who I really am.

Am I really the extrovert that others portrayed me to be? Or am I a peaceful introvert that loves to read books in my room all day?
Do I love meeting all kinds of people throughout the day?  Or am I okay with just a few close friends I love in my circle? 

Now that I understand myself better. I realize what a gem I am just by being myself and I’m loving myself more each and every day. My only strategy is having the guts to follow what I love. People can push you into all sorts of things in this world, it’s up to you to carve the real You that you want to live by. This is probably the safest path for you to truly discover your truest and highest potential as the Real You.

Here are 10 habits that indicate you are loving yourself.

1# You are an avid knowledge seeker

Knowledge is the key to understanding yourself, the more you know how the world works, the more you’ll see how you fit in. That’s why the first-ever revelation in the Quran was a verse about reading.

There is no such thing as “ignorance is bliss”. Ignorance is downright pathetic, only losers stay ignorant. You need to have a wide vast of knowledge to make more conscious and purposeful decisions in life.

As you make more ‘right’ decisions in life, it will create a life that you love. So, start with knowledge, you’ll have more options. Remember, be true to yourself.

This is about you and no one else okay 😄

2# You clean your space

Your space immensely affects your mental clarity. If you want to think clearly and be on top of your life, you need to have a clean home. It doesn’t have to be an expensive or fancy home, it just has to be clean and tidy. Your mental health depends on it!

For me, my house is my sanctuary. I want to be able to relax and chill in my own little space. If I can’t find peace in my own home, I won’t be able to function in the outside world.

Cleaning and organizing your home lets your subconscious mind know that your health and wellbeing matter, that YOU matter. You are a human being that deserves his/her own safe and comfortable habitat to flourish and grow in a beautiful way.

My sister-in-law has OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) so she’s always cleaning and tidying her place. I think she has a mild version because I see nothing wrong with it, frankly, I think it’s a blessing because her place is always clean and tidy! It’s amazing! Kudos to you sis!

So, clean your house as a gift to loving yourself. 😀

3# You make dua for yourself

Dua is your most powerful tool as a muslim because you can do it anytime and it works! You can do it right now, just put your hands together and tell Allah what you need and want.

“Ya Allah, I want to understand myself and love myself deeply in the best way You have created me, please give me guidance. Ameen”

Make it a habit to quickly make dua for something in the exact moment that you’re experiencing and thinking the thought. I make dua for almost everything in life, my akhirah, my death, my loved ones, money, health, blessings, everything I can think of.

Alhamdulillah as of now, I think I’ve always been in Allah’s good hands. I’ve rarely been disappointed by not having my duas answered. In fact, looking back, I wish I could’ve made more duas and more specific duas so that I’d get what I want in the future.
To help inspire you, here are some of my marriage duas that have been answered.

1. Having a husband that deeply adores me
2. Marry someone who lives 10 mins from my house
3. Marry someone who loves Allah more than anything in the world
4. We’re bestfriends that can talk about anything and everything in the world
5. He’s older than me (at least 5 years)
6. He’s not handsome but makes me feel calm every time I see him (should’ve asked for a handsome AND calm guy) I’m kidding😄
7. We have similar taste in everything (so that it’s easy to make decisions) – this was my thinking back then haha

4# You find yourself a compatible life partner

If you’re not married yet, this could be way in the future, but very critical nonetheless. If you truly love yourself, you are keeping this in mind from now. Your life partner will be your best friend that accompanies you on your journey of self-love.

He needs to remind you that you’re enough, you’re perfect just the way you are, and that you have special talents and gifts that are uniquely you that Allah purposely gave you to create beautiful things on earth.

He doesn’t have to say these things to you every day, but the way he treats you, the way he talks to you, and the way he does things for you every day as your husband says it all.

5# You increase connection with Allah

Who knows you better than anyone on this earth?  Of course, Allah, your creator. If you don’t connect to the one person who knows you best, how are you going to ever know yourself?

Ask Him, Ya Allah, what are the special gifts that You have created me with?  Is it empathy? The ability to make friends? The ability to make money?  What is it?  Show me so that I can use it to the fullest and help others with my gifts.

6# You make ‘Jannah friends’

Friends that remind you- we’re on this earth to pursue Jannatul Firdaus- is precious. Surround yourself with people who share your common goals.

I don’t know how it is in your country, but in Malaysia, it’s easy to find a group of Muslim ladies you can meet weekly to catch up and share thoughts and findings on the Quran and Hadith.

We call this usrah, where we take turns meeting up at someone’s house, have dinner and discuss on a tafseer from a surah or hadith.

It’s pretty amazing. Ever since I joined my usrah, I feel like I’m not alone anymore and that my knowledge of Islam is increasing as I gained more support from my sisters.

So, find yourself a group of Jannah friends. Maybe you can start by asking your local mosque if they have this type of system.

7# You set and achieve your goals

Without goals, we can almost be… dead. Sorry for being so harsh but I really think so. Allah created us as creatures of growth. We constantly need to improve our lives and strive for the better.

If you don’t set goals for yourself, you can easily fall into depression, melancholy, and all sorts of other mental health issues.
You need something to inspire you to live, a project so exciting that it gets you out of bed in the morning and leaves you feeling ecstatically grateful when you achieve it.

It doesn’t even have to be a megaproject, it can just be something as small as increasing your income by 10$ a week. Or some kind of, health goal, personal goal, something that can push you out of your comfort zone to grow into a better version of yourself. 🙂

8# You are independent

I hate to break it to you but in life, no one really cares or knows what’s best for you. Your family may care deeply about you but they’ll never really know what’s truly best for you.

What’s best for your happiness, your mental and physical health, your spiritual health, etc. The more independent and responsible you are in loving yourself and finding what’s best for you, the better your life will be.

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is taking advice from people who don’t have the results you want. For instance, if you want to have a loving marriage, you wouldn’t take advice from someone who has divorced right?

Sure, they may tell you things they would’ve done differently or things they learned from their failed marriage, but what makes you think taking advice from them will guarantee you the right mindset, habits and lifestyle of a successful marriage? Surely, you’d want to ask the lovely old couple who has been happily married for 40 years instead of that divorced couple right?

Same goes with everything else in life! If you want to be a Millionaire, learn from a self-made Millionaire, if you want to be a successful mother raising happy kids, ask the mother with happy kids.

Life is really that simple, you guys 🙂

9# You have a healthy lifestyle

What would a healthy lifestyle for you look like? What do you eat on a regular basis? How do you take care of your body long-term?  How do you keep emotions in check?
Write down your daily routine and see if you can incorporate some healthy habits that you’ve been meaning to try but never had the time to.

When I first took on my full-time job as a Mandarin teacher, I was an eager beaver. Give me any work and I’ll do it! A year going in, I became not only the Mandarin teacher but also the Science, Arts and crafts, Entrepreneurship AND Mandarin teacher!

Yes, I was THAT ambitious and THAT eager haha. Alhamdulillah, I’m glad I used up all my talents and resources to the max for good.

But being young and naive, I didn’t really take care of my health throughout those hectic working days. But Alhamdulillah, I didn’t suffer any sort of illness from that but I was really thin and unhealthy.

I could feel most of my days were filled with anxiety just to get all the tasks done on time. It wasn’t like I didn’t enjoy the work, it was just that I didn’t know when to stop. My brain was just so maxed out all the damn time. I couldn’t relax.

And the funny thing is, I didn’t even realize I was living this way the whole time – full of anxiety and overwhelmed. That’s when I stopped everything. And I’ve never been happier Alhamdulillah.

So, I want you to tune in to yourself. What would a healthy lifestyle look like for you? If you have to quit your hectic job, do it (and start a business like me 😉 ), if it’s not contributing to your growth and happiness, it’s not the right place for you to begin with.

Take care of yourself, you deserve it, love 🙂

10# You give yourself permission to be Your Best Self

Imagine this, if everyone on earth is going around living the same dull zombie lives every day without really tapping into our fullest potential, what is Islam going to look like? Where is the soul that brings life to this dull and boring world?

Us! Human beings! We are the souls that Allah has created to be sent to this earth to do whatever we want on this planet. Now, we have 2 choices – to make the world a better place or worse than it is. Which one would you choose? And which one are you choosing for the past decades that you’ve lived on this earth?

Now, do you still think we should stay mediocre or live in poverty and not tap into our highest potential? When…

Islam needs us. Islam needs leaders that are strong in Iman as well as high in economic status. We will never stand a chance if we stay miserly, small and mediocre. Sure, Allah the Al-Mighty can save us and He can do anything.

But He did say…

 Indeed, Allah will not change the condition of a people until they change what is in themselves.

Quran 13:11

So, Allah will help us, on one condition – we first change what is in our control. What is in our control? Our mindset, our attitude, our knowledge, our effort – this is all in our control!

Imagine if we were to use it all to our highest potential to gain the best results! I bet we would have more Muslim professionals, experts and Millionaires in every field! Masya Allah.

I know this sounds idealistic, but I’m talking you – those who are capable and are gifted with so much privilege that Allah has given you. Are you using everything that you have to be the best person you can be? To put Islam back on the pedestal of this world?

Only you can answer that to yourself. 🙂

Let’s start today and be the best person we should be. Ameen.

How? Start by setting goals and pursue them like mad 😀 All the best, love!

Any good from this article is from Allah and any evil is from the shaytaan and me. May Allah forgive our shortcomings in practicing His deen.

Wa billahi tawfeeq wa hidayah

(All successes come from Allah and His guidance).